Chapter 3: 4
The negative effects of frustration (2)

What else has frustration done to Sarah? There are still three more things that she has reaped out of it.

Third: Tension in marital relation
Sarahfound herself guilty after having rushed by driving Abraham for that decision without waiting for God. She did not run to the Lord to confess about her mistake but she sought Abraham to blame him saying: “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me” (Genesis 16:5). For that, tension and dispute entered Abraham’s household.

Sarah who was taken by apostle Peter, as an example of submission of wives to husbands because of her naming Abraham "master”, has from her frustration, lost spirit and came out of words of complaint when she said to him: ” You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering….May the Lord judge between you and me.”   “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands….like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.” (1Peter3:1,6) 

When we are frustrated, we often transfer our blame and accusation to others and sometimes to our partner. Sometimes when we face difficulties in our journey of life, instead of crying out to God, we blame one another and accuse others of being the cause of the trouble. That what our father Adam did in ancient time, instead of admitting his mistake to God when he was asked; ”Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?", he returned the blame to God and to Eve his wife saying: ”The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."

My dear reader, accusing each other, between partners, will not settle the problem but rather complicate it more. Unite together and seek the Lord. He is able to solve all your problems. Confess to Him and say: "Because of our frustration, we faulted but we repent before You Lord ,and we trust that You are able to bring out from the evil something good for us”.

Fourth: Strictness and violence
Frustration leads to anger, tension and sometimes rudeness. It also generates inside us feeling of weakness and self-pity which drives us to violence and cruelty to conceal that feeling. Definitely, humiliation was not of Sarah’s normal attitude, nor was violence or downgrading, but she was frustrated and this was the cause. It might also compel us to do same by being tough with others.

A husband may get frustratrated when he fails to fulfill his hopes and dreams whether occupational, familial or in any other field. Therefore when he fails to accomplish his goal, he becomes unconfident of himself thus becoming cruel on himself and on his wife, while the holy Bible recommends husbands not to get tough with their wives "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19)

A wife may also feel frustrated when she renounce her job or suspends her work or education in order to accommodate a better chance for her husband to work or study. With time passing, she feels she missed her dream of a successful profession and failed  in what she aspired for herself before marriage thus reinforcing deeper inside her the feeling of depression and frustration and all that reflects a harsh treatment to her husband.

Parents’ frustration may affect their children. Parents could be tough on their children as a result of frustrations and pressures at work or at any other field. This may lead the children to failure and depression while the holy Book advises fathers regarding their children saying: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged”(Colossians 3:21)

Fifth: The bitter crop
Ishmael has come as a result of Sarah’s wrongly decision and caused resentment to her and to Abraham and to their descendants till now. Sarah has certainly regretted and felt guilty for the decision she made. She missed her inner peace as well as the respect of her maidservant over whom she had no authority any longer. ”When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.” (Genesis 16:4). Therefore as a result of frustration Sarah made a wrong decision and hence she harvested a bitter crop.

Sometimes, Satan comes out with solutions to our problems and frustrations. This might succeed in the short run, but then we regret it when we reap the results of our deeds. "A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7).

Dear reader, Wait for God even if the promise gets delayed and the wait takes long. It’s in your favor to wait upon God for the fulfillment of His promise and take Isaac whose name means: "laugh”, rather than rush for a decision which could be wrong resulting in having Ishmael who brings trouble to your life.

Magdy Samuel